Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes I Suck

So I sat down at the piano tonight. It’s been a while, but I figured since Andrea was at boxing class, I would try to figure out a tune or two.

Turns out I really, really suck at playing the piano. 

Of course, over  my 44 years (did I just admit that) I’ve probably spent a total of like, three hours playing the piano, so it’s no surprise that I suck, but it’s still a bit disappointing.

I’ve always been pretty musically inclined. I’m no Eddie Van Halen, that’s for sure, but I can belt out a few cool tunes to sing along with on the bass or guitar.

But back to this piano bullshit (and that’s exactly what it is) It just doesn’t make any sense to me. There are no frets or strings (on the outside anyway.) It’s just a bunch of white keys with some black ones tossed in every once in a while to fuck with you and make it even harder.

Seriously, I can sit and figure out a tune with one hand, then figure out the other hand but asking me to try to play them together at the same time is like asking me to not be handsome first thing in the morning. It’s just impossible.

I really shouldn’t even get so bent out of shape about sucking at the piano. There are lots of things I’m not good at. Hell, I may as well make a list for you, so in the future, if you ever ask me to do any of the things, you can expect a half-assed job

  • Sewing – On by best day I can sew a button on a shirt, but it’s guaranteed to be crooked and fall off within a day. God forbid I try to darn a sock
  • Yodeling – Yeah, not gonna happen and I don’t even know why I thought of it.
  • Lying (not to be confused with exaggerating or my bad memory) – I really suck at lying. I just can’t pull it off. Firstly, I’m too dim to actually remember what I lied about and I think I have a tick when I do it anyway. So if you ever see my rubbing my eye and scratching my ear at the same time, I’m probably trying to tell a lie.
  • I asked Andrea what I’m not good at and she said “Humility and self awareness” wtf does she know?
  • Also, according to Andrea, I suck at cleaning. I don’t think I do, but maybe I’m just faking not being good at cleaning so I don’t have to do it ( would that be lying?)
  • Leaf blowing – I SO suck at this. I really try to be cool like those gardeners you see that can blow leaves into nice piles with such finesse but I just end up blowing shit all over the place and making more of a mess than when I started.  It’s not like I can practice in my garage or something
  • Typing – I’m a shitty typer. You have no idea how long it takes me to type this stuff
I could go on and on, but that would get boring and I like to keep my blogs lively and fun.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m good at lots of stuff and in no way do I dwell on the stuff I’m not good at (except maybe the leaf blower thing) but I think it’s sometimes good to appreciate our ineptitudes (look at me with my big words) so maybe we can sit at that piano, grab that sewing kit or leaf blower and work at it. 

After all, shouldn’t we all be striving to be better at all the things we do?