Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I got your su su sudio, baby!

Sometimes I like to do things that make me uncomfortable. No, I’m not talking about things like sleeping in cowboy boots or putting a pea under my mattress.
I’m talking about things that make me feel…well, uncomfortable.

For example:

A while back I was sitting at a red light waiting to turn left and there was a “homeless” guy standing in the median with a sign asking for money or a job or something.
It’s my assumption that this guy is used to people avoiding eye contact, so when I caught his eye, I held it.
I sat staring at a homeless man and he at me for what seemed like an eternity and he eventually looked away.
Now I wasn’t staring at him with contempt or attitude. I was staring to see who could hold out the longest. I was kinda scared that he'd flip out and jump on the hood of my car, but he didn't.

Don’t know why I did it, but it was a very uncomfortable situation for a minute..

So tonight I was on my way to NatMo’s house to drop off her groceries (NatMo crashed her mountain bike and is currently unable to do anything but walk like a gimp and sound really pathetic) , While I’m sitting at this red light, I see, I see a very handsome business woman on a bicycle pull up next to me to wait for the light as well.
At that very moment I also realized that Phil Collins’s Su Su Sudio was on the radio. No, I don’t know why it was on, it just WAS!

So anyway, I though “OMG! What if my window was down? How embarrassing would that be?” So after giving myself about 5 seconds to process the situation,  I proceeded to roll down my window, crank up the radio as loud as it would go, leaned back and gave her my best super suave “hey baby” look.

Needless to say, when the light turned green, she rode off without saying anything, but I did it and honestly, it was the most uncomfortable 20 seconds I’ve had in a long time. (no sex jokes please)

 I have no effing idea why I’m even telling this story other than it made me laugh out loud.
I guess the thought of a chubby, middle aged bald guy in a beater Subaru eyeballing a hot chick while rockin’ out to Phil Collins was so ridiculous that I just had to do it.

Peace and God bless Phil Collins.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I am not a bike snob…or am I?

 Okay, maybe that’s a bit misleading. I’ll be the first person to admit I’m about as much of a bike snob as one can be.
I own a number of bikes and most of them are worth more than my car. Of course if you’ve seen my car, that’s not really saying much. I actually checked the Kelly Blue Book on my car and the rear wheel of my tri bike is worth more.

But I digress…

Don’t you have when people say that? It's like duh! Yeah, I know you’re digressing, I’m listening to you ramble on about something completely different than you started!

But I digress…

So in my never ending quest to find something to blog about (lol, that’s a stretch) I figured there is one way to find out if am truly a bike snob or not.

I’m going to buy a department store commuter bike, ride it to work and see if I’m capable of loving a bike designed for…well…I don’t know what they’re designed for, but I’m pretty sure it’s not daily riding.
No, I’m not going to ride it just once and blog about it and that’s it. I’ll ride it at least a couple times a week (sorry, but I can’t commit to an every day ride on this) and I am committed to ride this thing until it dies.

I was so giddy when I thought of this that I actually hopped in my car and drove to Target to look for a bike, since there isn’t a WalMart close to my house (which I’m thankful for) but alas, Target’s bike selection is a little too “high end” for me.
At least I was able to satisfy my craving for macaroni and cheese and hot dogs.

Anyway, there’s a WalMart by my work that I’ll be hitting Thursday or Friday and hopefully I’ll be able to score a sweet, new ride.

Unfortunately, now that I’ve posted this, I’m committed to doing it.

Stay tuned…

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

DVR Dilemma

So American Horror Story is on tonight. If you haven’t seen this yet, it a pretty badass new series about a family that moves into an old murder house in LA and has all kinds of crazy crap happen to them. It’s really awesome! And it also stars my man-crush Dillon McDermott, so there’s that.

I have my DVR set to record this every Wednesday, so Amy and I can watch it when we get together over the weekend.
If you don’t know Amy, she’s a total scary movie nerd and LOVES watching them (even though she covers her eyes during gross parts and won’t watch them during dinner)


I agreed that even though I won’t see her until Friday, I wouldn’t watch it and we could watch it together.

So here’s my problem. I REALLY WANT TO WATCH IT!

I figure there are a few ways this can go.

1) I can wait to watch it like I said I would and everything will be fine.
2) I can watch it without her, tell her I watched it without her and risk getting yelled at.
3) I can watch it without her, tell her I didn't watch it, act scared when we watch it together and risk getting busted and yelled at for being an asshole for watching it without her when I said I wouldn't.
4) Just for fun, I can not watch it, tell her I did watch it, let her get mad at me for watching it without her (even though I didn't) and then see what happens. Unless of course she reads this, then I guess I'll have to worry about what she would have to say about me not only thinking about watching it without her, but also thinking about watching it and not telling her or telling her I didn't when I did.

Maybe I'm over-thinking this...

I think I'll just go to bed.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

What is WRONG with you people?

 So one of my triathlete friends asks “Hey, anyone want to meet Saturday morning for a swim and then out for a bike ride to Folsom/El Dorado Hills, etc??

My response “Can’t, I have a tri on Sunday and it’ll kick my butt”

Another response “Can’t I have a 17 mile run Friday, but I may be able to make the swim Saturday.”

Another response “Can’t, I’m running 17 miles Friday, but will be swimming Saturday afternoon. And I’m doing a bike/run brick Sunday.”

My response “Well I’ll be free after my race on Sunday, so I can do your bike/run brick with you.”

Yes, I’m doing an Ironman in just less than two months and yes, I’m putting in the miles, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the most ridiculous conversations I’ve ever heard.

What kind of maniacs do this and call it fun? I remember when “fun” was many beers on a Friday, parties on Saturday and sleeping in between being drunk. Fun was dodge ball and swing sets. Fun was hanging out at the river and doing nothing all day

I guess in my older, wiser (yeah right) years, my definition of fun has changed.

Don’t get me wrong. I love going to bed early, waking up earlier than the guy that works at the AM/PM Mini Market and spending all weekend working out and then barely being able to walk up the stairs to the office on Mondays, but it just sounds so much more ridiculous to hear other people talk about doing the same stuff.

It seems a good lot of my friends are off their rockers and it looks like I’m one of em too, although I don’t feel like it.