Friday, April 15, 2011

Why the hell do I even do this?

Today, on my way home from work as I sat on the side of the bike trail for five minutes retching and dry heaving because I inhaled a bug, I (obviously) was thinking about how much it sucked.

Then I got to thinking about all the shitty stuff that’s happened to me over the years while on a bicycle.
Inhaled bugs, dozens of bee stings, gnats in the eyes or pasted to my sweaty arms. Crashes and rashes, sores and boils, broken bones, bad sunburns, failed snot rockets that don’t make it all the way out and come back and hit you in the eye…
I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

I swear, I’ve crashed so damn many times on my mountain bike that I doubt there’s a square mile in the greater Sacramento area that doesn’t have some kind of DNA sample I’ve left behind.

Cycling, for the most part, is miserable. Sure, there are days when it’s warm and pretty out and the birds are singing, flowers are blooming, kittens are prancing and all that happy crap, but for the most part, it’s usually a suffer-fest and I often question why I do it. I like to go fast and to go fast, I have to push myself. When I push myself, my heart, lungs and legs hate me, but I do it anyway.

I’d like to say I have some cool, deep “zen” reason for why I put myself through this stupid activity that I know I complain about a hell of a lot more that I rave about, but I don’t think I do.

Why do I do it?

 I do it because I can and I’m going to keep doing it until I can’t anymore.
 I do it because the human body is an amazing machine and no matter how hard I push it, bend it or break it. It always comes back better than it was before and says “Thank you. Let’s do it again.”


Saturday, April 9, 2011

What kind of cheap bastard am I?

Anyone who knows me knows I’m just about the cheapest bastard out there. I’m always looking to save a buck or haggle a good deal any day of the week.
I go to garage sales looking for great deals, I buy second hand a lot of the time, hell I even drive to Costco and put up with the “Costco people” just so I can save a few bucks on broccoli, pork chops and spring salad mix.

I’m thinking of this because today has been a day of highs and lows for me in the little world of cheap which I live.

I’ve wanted this particular Garmin GPS heart rate monitor/speedometer/dishwasher watch for some time now, but the damn thing is $399, so I’ve put off getting one. I mean, what the hell kind of person drops that kind of dough on a friggin’watch?

Apparently a person like me.

I went to REI. I walked up to the watch case. I knew what I wanted. I asked the guy to look at it and damn near had an anxiety attack thinking about how I might throw up on the the cashier when he asked me to swipe my card. But I knew I wanted it and I bit the bullet and bought it. It hurt, but I have it and I’m more that elated about it.
No, I don’t “need” this watch, but I think I deserve it. I work hard and well…um…well, I really wanted it.


Jump ahead 30 minutes.

On the way home from REI with my ridiculously expensive new toy, I spy a garage sale and of course, I stop and start rummaging for more crap I don’t need and, low and behold, I see the most beautiful cookie sheet I’ve ever seen. It was like a ray of sun from God was shining on it and angels were singing.

I have one cookie sheet. It’s probably 15 years old, I don’t know where I got it. It’s warped and I’ve probably eaten about 40% of the non-stick surface, because it’s not there anymore.

Anyway, as I’m harboring my excitement, I calmly ask the lady “how much for the cookie sheet?” She replies “$2.00.”
After wincing and playing that poor little me card that ALWAYS works, I say in my sweetest, most suave voice “will you take a dollar for it?”
She said no and wouldn’t budge.

Now the whole mindfuck here is that I wouldn’t pay TWO DOLLARS for that cookie sheet. I told her "sorry, but I have to walk away" and did just that. I walked away from what could have quite possibly been the best deal on a cookie sheet I’ll ever see. Who knows when this is going to come back and bite me in the ass. My guess is the next time I want to make cookies or pigs in a blanket. 
I can only imagine what that woman was thinking.

It was borderline embarrassing to not be willing to pay that extra dollar, but for some reason, I just couldn't do it!

What kind of cheap bastard am I?  Hell I don’t know.

I’m training now and I guess I need a $400 watch more than I need cookies and pigs in a blanket.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Every morning I wake up on a diet

Yesterday I saw a commercial for a new reality show about eating disorders and one of the clips they show is a woman that says “Every day I wake up on a diet, and every night I go to bed a failure.”

Man, did those words hit home.

For the past year or so, every day I would wake up and say “I’m going to drink more water. I’m going to eat a healthy lunch. I’m going to make a healthy dinner” and every single day, all that talk would go out the window and I’d eat 4000-5000 calories and hate myself because of it.

It’s no wonder that last year I trained my ass off for an Ironman and only lost about 10 lbs. Thank God I'm at least motivated enough to ride and run. Otherwise I'd be 400 lbs.

Anyway, those days are gone.

After a wetter than usual winter, I have extra lbs and a serious lack of fitness staring me in the face, and with 5 months until my next Ironman, there is NO WAY I’ll be able to post a better time than I did last year if I don’t get off my ass and do something.

So here I am, doing something.

I have committed to changing my eating habits. No, I’m not going on a diet. I’m just eating like I’m supposed to be eating. Like I know I’m supposed to be eating.

 I’m eating whole foods. Natural, beautiful colorful foods and I have to say, I feel better than I have in years.
On top of my regular cycling and running, I’m incorporating daily workouts to focus on other muscle group to enhance my overall well being.

This is going to be a long, hard road for me, but the time is now and as an old hag once told me “Every day counts.”

The sun is finally out, the weather is perfect and I have no excuses. I’ve set my goals and I’m responsible for achieving them. And I will.

I’ll probably be blogging more and more about my workouts, meals and all around training. I will not be posting progress pics, because who the hell wants to see that anyway?

It’ll probably be boring, but you’ll read it and you’ll like it if you know what’s good for you!