What kind of cheap bastard am I?

                  

Anyone who knows me knows I’m just about the cheapest bastard out there. I’m always looking to save a buck or haggle a good deal any day of the week.

I go to garage sales looking for great deals, I buy second hand a lot of the time, hell I even drive to Costco and put up with the “Costco people” just so I can save a few bucks on broccoli, pork chops and spring salad mix.

I’m thinking of this because today has been a day of highs and lows for me in the little world of cheap which I live.

I’ve wanted this particular Garmin GPS heart rate monitor/speedometer/dishwasher watch for some time now, but the damn thing is $399, so I’ve put off getting one. I mean, what the hell kind of person drops that kind of dough on a friggin’watch?

Apparently a person like me.

I went to REI. I walked up to the watch case. I knew what I wanted. I asked the guy to look at it and damn near had an anxiety attack thinking about how I might throw up on the the cashier when he asked me to swipe my card. But I knew I wanted it and I bit the bullet and bought it. It hurt, but I have it and I’m more that elated about it.

No, I don’t “need” this watch, but I think I deserve it. I work hard and well…um…well, I really wanted it.

Anyway…

Jump ahead 30 minutes.

On the way home from REI with my ridiculously expensive new toy, I spy a garage sale and of course, I stop and start rummaging for more crap I don’t need and, low and behold, I see the most beautiful cookie sheet I’ve ever seen. It was like a ray of sun from God was shining on it and angels were singing.

I have one cookie sheet. It’s probably 15 years old, I don’t know where I got it. It’s warped and I’ve probably eaten about 40% of the non-stick surface, because it’s not there anymore.

Anyway, as I’m harboring my excitement, I calmly ask the lady “how much for the cookie sheet?” She replies “$2.00.”

After wincing and playing that poor little me card that ALWAYS works, I say in my sweetest, most suave voice “will you take a dollar for it?”

She said no and wouldn’t budge.

Now the whole mindfuck here is that I wouldn’t pay TWO DOLLARS for that cookie sheet. I told her "sorry, but I have to walk away" and did just that. I walked away from what could have quite possibly been the best deal on a cookie sheet I’ll ever see. Who knows when this is going to come back and bite me in the ass. My guess is the next time I want to make cookies or pigs in a blanket. 

I can only imagine what that woman was thinking.

It was borderline embarrassing to not be willing to pay that extra dollar, but for some reason, I just couldn't do it!

What kind of cheap bastard am I?  Hell I don’t know.

I’m training now and I guess I need a $400 watch more than I need cookies and pigs in a blanket.

Peace.