Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

So here we are, in a nice and shiny, brand new year and I have to say, as far as years go, 2011 was pretty awesome. I met a lot of amazing people, did some really cool stuff and I think I ended up a better person than when 2011 started, which is sort of the goal anyway, right?

I’ve never been one for New Years resolutions. I think they’re silly and in many cases, just set people up for disappointment. A lot of people make their resolutions and within a few weeks, find themselves at the donut shop rather than the gym or at a happy hour with friends, rather than the juice bar.

But in the spirit of the season, I decided I’d make a list of a few resolutions for 2012 and with some hard work, determination and a little help from my friends, family and coworkers, I think I can make them stick.

1)      Stop stubbing my toe so often - I have a habit of walking into things on a pretty regular basis and I have to say, this is something I believe I could do without. I’m also going to include hitting my funny bone, poking myself in the eye, falling down in public and cutting myself while shaving in this one. It’s kind of a resolution bundle.
2)      Get pedicures more often - If you’ve ever seen my feet, you know this is a good one.
3)      Get a new office chair - I love my office chair, but it has a habit of randomly reclining and usually only does it when someone walks into my cube. It’s kinda funny, but it also sometimes does it when I’m on the phone with attorneys and it’s embarrassing when I go “GAAAH!” in the middle of a conversation. Totally not professional.
4)      Spend more money - I like having new stuff. Who doesn’t? Saving money is stupid, so I’m going to make an effort to buy more cool stuff for myself and other people. Maybe I’ll start with a new coffee table that is less prone to toe stubbage?
5)      Eat more bacon - As much as I love bacon, I don’t eat it as often as I should. And if my whole “bacon underwear” plan works out well, I’m going to need to stock up anyway.
6)      Drink more coffee - I love coffee so I should drink more.
7)      Be nicer to kids - Actually, I know this isn’t going to happen, so forget it.
8)      Be better looking – This one is pretty superficial, and yes, I know you’re probably thinking “That’s impossible”, as I'm already too good looking, but I honestly think I can make this happen.
9)      Stop using regular eating utensils and use only a spork - This needs no explanation.
10)  Use bleach when washing my whites – They’re just not white enough
11) Work on my posture – They say that the quickest way to lose 10 lbs is to stand up straight, so I’m really going to make an effort here. Maybe if I learn to do a back bend, I’ll look like I’m at my optimal weight and won’t have to exercise or watch what I eat.

Wow, that’s a lot more stuff than I thought.

Yes, there are a lot of silly resolutions I could make, like watching my diet, going to the gym, learning a language, doing more charity work or spending more time with family and friends, but I thought it would be better to make a list of things I may actually do.
I’m sure as the year progresses I’ll come up with a few more things I would like to start/stop doing and it's likely I'll blow it on a few of these, but I’m going to do my best to make these stick. Yes, it's going to be hard, but the payoff will be worth it in the end.

Happy 2012!

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure I would want bacon underwear. Because once I'd worn it I wouldn't want to eat it. And that would just be a waste of bacon.