Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can’t believe it’s not butter!


The other day, one of my coworkers (the crazy eco/green/save the world lady, which I’m sure every office has) sent me a link to an article about how minute traces…wait, is that right? Minute? Minoot…mynewt…minute…um…small traces of some chemical were found in a bunch of sticks of butter.
As if butter isn’t bad enough for you, now it’s even worse because of this wacky chemical.
Apparently, this chemical has been known to cause some kind of defects in some people in certain doses. What these doses are, I don’t know. What the effects are, I don't know, but my guess is that more than a small amount in a stick of butter is needed for one to grow a tail or get ED from it.

But anyway, my reply to this email said one thing:

“Every day I walk out my front door, I’m trusting that the rest of the world isn’t going to kill me. The last thing I’m going to worry about is butter.”

Shit, a speeding car may miss the corner by my house and drive right into my room, killing me before I even get a chance to leave the house.
Maybe that crazy neighbor of mine from Fiji with the face tattoos that walks around the neighborhood with an ax will someday decide to use it on me, rather than whatever the hell he does with it.

My point (if I even have one)  I guess, is not to sweat the small stuff?

Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are a lot of dangerous things in this world that can kill us. Mono sodium Glutamate, pesticides, erections that last for more than four hours and so on, but at some point, you have to live your life.

Don’t like cigarettes? Don’t smoke em. Worried about getting Alzheimer’s from eating too much broccoli? Don’t eat it. Don't like beer, drink gin. Afraid you’re going to get run over on your bicycle? Don’t ride it.

Me? I’m just going to live my life. If that includes smoking a cigarette in bed with a space heater next to a propane tank while popping Viagra and eating bacon fried in tainted butter, so be it.
Maybe I'll grow a tail from eating too much tainted butter. Hell maybe if enough people grow tainted butter tails, someone will start making fashionable sleeves for them and there will be a new trend.

Peace!

For the record, Marie, the eco-nutcase that sent me the butter article is absolutely wonderful (and quite militant). She does a lot of good and has principles I think we could all learn from. 
 


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